04/15/09 – 7:38pm (purity)
last night i couldn’t sleep.
i was being confronted by agents of the darkside.
i invited them in.
plain and simple… i’ve always had an attraction to the Darkness.
and trust me, it’s not based on Greed, Power or Lust….
not your ‘base’ relations with the shadow. something more, something of Greatness.
something i cannot express in words.
i found an old box in august, i opened it and inside i found a shimmering robe of inky blackness. seven stars. nine angles. one blue dragon. one blue pearl. one hollow wand. four platoons of angelic assassins. one fake ID. a pair of pure white wings and a book titled: “The Darkside Discourses of Darth Vader.”
poisoned by the contents of the box.
empowered by the contents of the box.
like snake venom.
one miligram over and medicine can easily become taint.
“…I am, a Sword to balance the Scales.”
i understand. i can see.
but yet im blind to the totality of its meaning.
“a Sword? – to balance? – the Scales?”
how does a sword add balance to the scales?
it makes absolute sense. yet it does not.
in the middle of the night Purity appears to me.
Purity is NOT Compassion, just as Compromise is NOT Justice.
8 white wings of flame on her back. a face like the sun.
the Mother of all Dragons.
she knows not of division or unity. she simply IS.
Ialdabaoth, “The Blind Idiot… is NOT madness. but innocence.”
Blind, to Side A and Side B.
Idiot, Ignorant to the Ways of Men.
my mind explodes.
never have i considered this.
and in all my Power, i have only sought Serenity…
and what happens to Batman once he kills the Joker?
he is unchanged.
i cry. i fall into a million pieces.
“I DONT WANT TO BE ANNAKIN!” – i shout…
she replies: “and you will not be…”
i scream, “but i SEE it! i have lost an arm, a leg, a wing! i am doomed to become more machine than man!” – “it’s the only way i can make it. the only way i can fulfill my destiny.”
she replies: “There is NO Destiny in the N O W.”
she assures me that all WILL burn.
she assures me that it is already burning.
the burning is LIFE.
the pilot light.
the Golden Eye,
CANNOT be shut.
ASAMNUTA – does not translate into “He Who Shuts The Eye…”
but “He Who Opens The Mouth.”
a blind, deaf, mute is the Lord.
open his eye and he cannot see.
open his mouth and he cannot speak.
open his ears and he cannot hear.
“…it is not you who is drawn to Darkness,
but the Darkness that is drawn to you.”
so the chattering demon rises from the foot of my bed…
clickidy clackidy click goes his teeth.
Deer horn and Ginseng is a common “cure all” for the Koreans.
Deer horn and Ginseng tea is most foul to the palate.
Deer horn = Furfur, Ginseng = the lust he inspires…
the demon is most foul. the demon presents itself when there is an inbalance…
of Yin and Yang.
man = beast = god = man.
poison = medicine = cure = poison.
“Wu Wei Wu…”
“Try NOT Try.”
her THUSNESS expands and envelops all from within.
and the scars vanish.
the mask falls away.
the Fake ID melts.
the torn away wing, reappears.
the Blue Dragon swallows the Blue Pearl and becomes hot white light.
the hot white light becomes “current 34”
the hollow wand a wire.
the current plus the resistance of the wire becomes “Mind.”
the current minus the resistance of the wire = “Being.”
“…You are NOT your Mind.”
you are not Annakin.
you have never been.
you are Angel.
she states: “When you choose to come here, there is a penalty to pay… and it is a great thing.” – “as when a Warrior chooses to go into battle, there is a price to pay. the lie of HONOR.”
Purity is NOT Compassion.
The “Terrible Lie” is a beautiful thing.
it is Happening.
if it Happens, it ENDS.
there is only Happening.
Static, Dynamic, Yin, Yang, two polarities of the same pole.
like Two Face. and his Coin.
“two sides to the SAME coin…”
it’s his ‘flipping’ of the coin that prolongs his suffering.
toss the coin to the street.
give it to Legba.
the Goddess Anjana’s curse of being a monkey(Hanuman’s Mother) can only be lifted if she conceives an incarnation of Shiva.
So Be It.
i will NOT be walked backwards.
i will NOT be moved forward.
i will stay here.
where i have always been.
i have always been,
Ganesha Wins the Race.
~ by your fellowman on 16/04/2009.