04/08/09 – 9:05am (don’t shut this out)

Tyler licks his lips until they’re gleaming wet.  He takes Jack’s hand
and KISSES the back of it.  The saliva shines in the shape of the kiss.
Tyler poises the can of lye over Jack’s hand.

This is a chemical burn, and it will hurt more than you’ve ever been

Tyler pours a bit of the flaked lye onto Jack’s hand.  Jack’s whole
body JERKS.  Tyler holds tight to Jack’s hand.  Tears well in Jack’s
eyes; his face tightens.

Look at your hand.

Jack looks — the burn is swollen glossy in the shape of Tyler’s kiss.
Jack’s face spasms, but he forces himself to endure it.

Tyler’s kiss was a bonfire or a branding iron on my hand at the end of
a long, long road I pictured miles away from me.

PG 70

Jack takes his gaze off his hand and his eyes become glazed and

Come back to the pain.

Guided meditation worked for cancer it could work for this.

Don’t shut this out.

I didn’t think of the words “pain” or “searing flesh”.  I was going to
my cave to find my power animal.

Quick CUT TO:


Marla, looking beautiful in a stunning black dress.

As soon as Tyler speaks, we CUT BACK TO:


Tyler squeezing Jack’s hand.  Jack’s eyes re-focus on Tyler.

This is the greatest moment of your life and you’re off somewhere,
missing it.  Listen.  Your father was your model for God.  And if your
father bails out, what does that tell you about God?

Jack’s face spasms in pain.  He keeps his attention on Tyler.

You have to consider the possibility that God doesn’t like you.  He
hates you.  This is not the worst thing that can happen.  His hate is
better that His indifference.

Jack becomes dazed again.  CUT TO:


Marla drops to the ground and pulls Jack on top of her.  Jack moves to
kiss her.  CUT TO:

PG 71


Tyler tugs at Jack’s arm.

We are God’s middle children, with no special place in history and no
special attention.  Unless we get God’s attention, we have no hope of
damnation or redemption.

Jack looks at Tyler and they lock eyes in a stare.

The lower you fall, the higher you fly.  The farther you run, the more
God wants you back.

Jack does his best to stifle his spasms and quivers of pain.  Tears
drip from his eyes.

Someday, you will die.  And until you know that, you’re useless to me.

Tyler’s eyes fill with tears and he smiles.  Suddenly, Jack starts
breathing heavily and he shakes his hand.

Fuck, man.  This HURTS.

Tyler laughs; Jack, bearing the pain, cracks a weird little crooked
smile, his eyes wide.



I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.


~ by your fellowman on 08/04/2009.

One Response to “04/08/09 – 9:05am (don’t shut this out)”

  1. Brilliant. You know I just read jot to long ago that there IS a pain box not unlike the Bene Gesserit Gom Jabar test. Wow – thanks to the people at Raytheon – we cab have PAIN ON TAP!


    Raytheon says they “unwittingly” created it. Uh huh. Sure.

    (The 163.5 million dollar military contract for surveillance equipment for the government was a fluke too right?)

    Interesting to note these new devices are also being used for crowd control.

    But the point is – life is full of stressors – both imagined and real. Everyday we plunge into the unknown.

    The I ching said it best in Hexagram #28

    The lake rises above the trees:
    Thus the superior man, when he stands alone,
    Is unconcerned,
    And if he has to renounce the world,
    He is undaunted.

    travel safely bro

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